Wednesday, September 19, 2007

How to Kill a Vacuum Cleaner.


I don't know, I'm asking you. Sincerely, I hate my vacuum cleaner for no other reason than it's old and cantankerous and the attachment head keeps falling off. But, it still works so I still use it and Kenny sees no reason why it would need replacing. (This gives me a secret hope that when my youth fades he'll keep me around anyway, which is nice, but we're talking about appliances here. I guess it's not comparable. Anyway.) I've had the damn thing for ten years, people. That's a long time to be annoyed with your vacuum cleaner.

I've thought about "accidentally" letting it fall down the stairs but that would mean a) I'd have to vacuum upstairs shudder which is really Kenny's gross boy lair and therefore not my responsibility, and b) I honestly think a hoist down the stairs would just make it stronger.

I've also deliberately let it suck up stuff it shouldn't, hoping for it's demised, but nothing seems to phase this beast. Sure, the attachment head is so worn out that it scratches the wood floor, but that doesn't stop it from half-heartily sucking up jewelry wire, beads, edamame pods and mounds of cat hair.


I've flirted with others, the purple Dyson is totally love-affair material, but I don't have $500 to spend on a vacuum no matter how compelling and British the commercials may be. I think I'd really rather just have a shinier more updated and bagless version of the one I have. I want it to be upright and maybe a little stupid. I think that's really important, that my next vacuum be kinda stupid, because the one I have now is wily like a fox. A fox that sucks and refuses to die.


* That picture up top is actually a quilt. More where that came from here.

8 comments:

  1. Oh my love! Get yourself to Bed Bath and Beyond and use one of their 20% off coupons on the purple Dyson. It is so worth every single penny, you could do what I did- ask for gift cards for christmas and birthday thus easing the hit on your wallet even further.

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  2. I only have the yellow Dyson, but I lurv it with all my heart and it has more than earned its $200 price tag keep. When I first got it, I was a bit underwhelmed, as it didn't have as much suction as a brand new vacuum would. The trick, though, is that it never loses that suction that it does have and you can clean all of the filters and junctions that may gunk up causing loss of suction. I will never own a non-Dyson again, and am fairly convinced I'll never have to replace old yeller.

    You really wanna kill that old one, suck up a venetian blind cord that is fully extended "by accident." That'll fry that motor right out.

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  3. Yes, I too coveted the Dyson - but ended up with my Kenmore. Consumer Reports best buy for 2005. It's done good, it was under $200, and it is purple.

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  8. The vacuum cleaner bag is changed out with a new one when full and the cup emptied out when the dirt reaches a certain level. Malaysia vacuum

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