Look up here, I’m in heaven

"If you're ever sad, just remember the world is 4.543 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie." @JeSuisDean

That sound you heard this morning at 6:30am was my heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. When you wake up and look at your phone and it's full of condolence messages? You just know. And I knew but I didn't want to believe it. What can I say? I honestly thought he'd live forever.

David Bowie saw me through so much. He made me feel cool when I absolutely wasn't. He gave me the hope and courage to be myself even if that self was really weird. Especially if that self was weird. Just the sound of his voice soothed me when nothing else could. If I was walking through a store and heard a Bowie song piped in I always saw it as a good omen. "Hey, a Bowie song!"

I saw him live six times, once in a small club in NY which is one of my happiest memories. I went to Chicago in 2014 to see the David Bowie Is exhibit with my friend Ashley and wept when I saw the Life on Mars suit. It was fine, I was in a room full of people doing the same thing. My people. I'm convinced he saved teenage lives with Rock 'n' Roll Suicide. Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful. 

We believed in him and he believed in us right back. Blackstar was his last gift to us and only he could go out like that - full of mystery and class right up to the end. I'm just so grateful. And really:

Safe travels, David, wherever you are. I hope your next adventure is even more amazing. 

Long Overdue: Stuff I Like!

I haven't done one of these for a while!

Mumford & Sons: Sigh No More. I know I'm late to the party (as usual) on this but OH MY GOD. I'm completely obsessed. They are similar to the Frames, but better...more...something. With Shakespeare references and a bit of banjo thrown in.

Time and Again by Jack Finney. Have you read it? It's an oldie but damn, it's still really good. If you've never read it please do immediately. It's all pleasure, no angst; Just a good story with a bit of time travel, New York history and really good descriptive passages. I re-read it ever few years just for fun.

I wondered why it hadn't been made into a movie yet and found this NY Times article from 1994. Fascinating! I kind of hope it never gets made into a movie because I love it too much. (Note to Robert Redford: Dude. Even in 1994 you were too old to play Si. I mean, really.)

Speaking of beloved books-to-movies, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo comes out TOMORROW. I am there. So, so excited.

Handmade Ryan Gosling. I know there have been a ton of Ryan Gosling "Hey girl" blogs but I think the handmade one is my absolute favorite. Here's an entry Marianne submitted:

Happy holidays, nerds. 

Insomanical

Insomnia is so ridiculously frustrating. I thought I had it beat but the past three nights have been all about me lying in bed wide awaking waking impatiently to fall. The hell. To sleep. If I do happen to drift off I wake up seconds later with my heart racing, which as you can probably imagine is really super-duper restful. Falling asleep used to be easy! Something I did without thought or concern! But check it:

Saturday night: went to bed at midnight, fell asleep at 4:30am.
Sunday night: went to bed at 11pm, fell asleep at 2am
Monday night: went to bed at 11pm, fell asleep at 1:30am

I'm trying desperately hard not to resort to the sleeping pills again because that really isn't a real solution. And, before you pipe up with your wisdom, I regularly take any combination of the following:

- melatonin
- valerian root
- Benedryl
- chamomile tea
- Gaba
- horse tranquilizers (kidding! Unless you have some?)

Sometimes these works, sometimes they don't. I have no caffeine after 8am. I exercise daily. I eat a healthy diet. I am about to lose my MIND.

Oh, Fine. I'm back.

In the past month or so I've had several friends make sad whiny noises about how I don't update my bloooooog anymore and how I'm so fuuuuunnnnny and whhhhhhy don't I update? I remind them about the awesomely funny style blog I share with Marianne and they make a face and then I make a face because THAT IS WHERE THE FUNNY IS and you should all be reading it.

But fine. Be that way. You don't have to read the style blog (even though it's FUNNY) if you don't want to even though it would be nice for the support and you'll be sorry when we're blog millionaires like Dooce and we will not let you frolic with us own our own private style blog island. So, just remember that.

Now, where was I? Oh, it was March and I was sick. Again. Since then, lots has happened:

- I spent TONS of money trying to keep my jackass car running.
- I quit the jewelry business.
- I won and lost mountain bike races.
- I went to hang out with Marianne in Knoxville a couple of times.
- I read a lot of books.
- I watched too much TV.
- I joined a bike team. Yay!
- I finally cured my insomnia after being (only slightly) addicted to sleeping pills*
- I did this by cutting out nearly all caffeine
- Which suuuuuucks.
- I whined a lot about how it's not summer anymore.
- I am having something of a mid-life crisis (more on that soon)


So, that's what I didn't post about this year. Any questions?

*OMG sleeping pills, they are amazing,  y'all. Seriously. I wish they didn't have the pesky side effect of altering brain chemistry and causing, like, amnesia because they work like CRAZY BALLS.

Just for Posterity.

If you're ever really, really sick, I have the best "sleep like you've been tranquilized" solution. A shot of NyQuil followed by a tequila chaser. I know this will horrify a few of you, but I'm telling you:

1. The only NyQuil worth taking is the liquid (green, not red). Yes, it tastes like battery acid, but that's because it works.

2. If you're not normally a "shot of tequila" kind of person (I'm not) try drinking a shot of NyQuil first. You will be shocked at how good the tequila tastes in comparison. Like a mouthful of golden nothing followed by a lovely mellow warmth. Trust.

All that said, I bring you the Nighty Night (as dubbed by my friend Marianne):

Model Citizen, Zero Dicipline.

This morning I tucked myself and all my day's stuff into the car, plugged in my iPod and hit "shuffle all" to see what kind of Monday it was going to be. My iPod picked...Panama by Van Halen.

Me: Really? Are you sure about this?

iPod: DUDE!

Me: Well...okay. If you say so.

iPod: DUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!

And away we went, my iPod being much more optimistic than me. I've been sick though, with tonsillitis and a nasty cold, for well over a week and I'm just now really starting to feel better. The sick cloud started lifting on Saturday, but on Sunday it was rainy and bleak and I didn't sleep well, so I was back to feeling gross and worn out. "Rainy Sunday" sounds like a romantic kind of day but let's be realistic - it sucks. Everything is wet and cold and you are restless inside, but outside things aren't any better.

All the downer talk aside, the weekend ended on a decent note. I made a good dinner and we watched a documentary I'd found randomly on Netflix and knew nothing about: The Parking Lot Movie. I highly recommend it, especially if you've ever worked a job like this, where all your customers are mostly dicks but you really like your co-workers and creativity is encouraged. I mean, I know these guys. I've been these guys! Anyway, watch it. It's worth the hour. (Also, if you're local, the parking lot in the movie is in Charlottesville.)

Weekend Ennui

It's been one of those weeks that feels like it had an extra couple of Wednesdays in it or something, right? Normally I'd be delighted that it's Friday but I woke up with a sore throat again and I fear it's going to be one of those weekends where the weather is gorgeous and I spend it feeling like crrrrap. Also, Kenny has to work another 12-hour shift tomorrow (and is working one right now) so that kind of sucks too.

Hopefully it's just allergies and my throat will stop feeling like battery acid is being poured down the back. Even a cute outfit can't save it and I'm wearing my goddamn happy dress. WHY.

So, but here's something worthwhile - you know those Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books everyone loves? Believe the hype. I'm halfway through book two and I never want it to end. Also, there's a really sweet shopping passage (I love reading shopping descriptions almost as much as I love reading food descriptions) where the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo outfits her apartment from IKEA. The author actually lists what she bought! I was so geeked out but I wanted to see. And then! I though, INTERNET. Surely someone has already done this work for me? And behold, they have: Lisbeth Salander's IKEA shopping list.

And that is why I love the Internet.