Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Still Alive and Kicking in a Feeble Manner.

Hi, sorry. Apparently I can only handle one blog at a time? And it's way easier to just post a dumb photo of my outfit than actually put words, like, together. In a meaningful manner. Excuses excuses.

Summer is over and I am a little sad about that.  But, I do have something to talk about. My high school reunion is this weekend. My 20th.  I'm surprisingly not only not scared, I'm actually looking forward to it. Apparently 20 years is exactly the amount of time you need to get perspective on what actually matters and what to just let go. I didn't even consider going to my 10th because, oh hell no! I hated high school! Also, at 28 I was not in a great place - unemployed, overweight, set adrift in my own insecurity.

Now, at 38 I am much more sure of myself. I tried to explain to my old best friend from high school that I wanted to go because I felt like I was a more interesting person now, and she laughed at me like that was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. Or, she just though I was being self-centered. And maybe I was, but hey, I feel good about myself now and that's not the worst thing in the world is it? I refuse to be intimidated by the girls who could barely be bothered to talk to me 20 years ago because who's to say they're still that person? I would hate to be judged solely based on the child I was 20 years ago because, like most kids, I was kind of an asshole sometimes. An asshole with badly hennaed hair.

A bit of background: I went to a very small private school for Dyslexic kids for 7th, 8th and 9th grade, then "mainstreamed" into a middling private Catholic girl's school for 10-12. This was okay because I had a few friends there already, but also not okay because, in missing my freshman year, I missed the sorting process of clique hierarchy. I was automatically sorted into my existing friend's group of friends which worked out, but also prevented me from choosing my own friends upfront. Anyway, we fell somewhere in the middle of the Popularity Ladder. We were not popular, but also not not popular. It's complex.

Anyway, enough of the people I'd want to see again have signed up and a few of the "popular" girls have as well, so it should be interesting. I would like to add that I will look SLAMMIN' at both events I'm going to. I happen to know that one of my high school ex-boyfriends is attending, so I think looking awesome is both necessary and right.