Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Long Overdue: Stuff I Like!

I haven't done one of these for a while!

Mumford & Sons: Sigh No More. I know I'm late to the party (as usual) on this but OH MY GOD. I'm completely obsessed. They are similar to the Frames, but better...more...something. With Shakespeare references and a bit of banjo thrown in.

Time and Again by Jack Finney. Have you read it? It's an oldie but damn, it's still really good. If you've never read it please do immediately. It's all pleasure, no angst; Just a good story with a bit of time travel, New York history and really good descriptive passages. I re-read it ever few years just for fun.

I wondered why it hadn't been made into a movie yet and found this NY Times article from 1994. Fascinating! I kind of hope it never gets made into a movie because I love it too much. (Note to Robert Redford: Dude. Even in 1994 you were too old to play Si. I mean, really.)

Speaking of beloved books-to-movies, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo comes out TOMORROW. I am there. So, so excited.

Handmade Ryan Gosling. I know there have been a ton of Ryan Gosling "Hey girl" blogs but I think the handmade one is my absolute favorite. Here's an entry Marianne submitted:

Happy holidays, nerds. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Insomnia is so ridiculously frustrating. I thought I had it beat but the past three nights have been all about me lying in bed wide awaking waking impatiently to fall. The hell. To sleep. If I do happen to drift off I wake up seconds later with my heart racing, which as you can probably imagine is really super-duper restful. Falling asleep used to be easy! Something I did without thought or concern! But check it:

Saturday night: went to bed at midnight, fell asleep at 4:30am.
Sunday night: went to bed at 11pm, fell asleep at 2am
Monday night: went to bed at 11pm, fell asleep at 1:30am

I'm trying desperately hard not to resort to the sleeping pills again because that really isn't a real solution. And, before you pipe up with your wisdom, I regularly take any combination of the following:

- melatonin
- valerian root
- Benedryl
- chamomile tea
- Gaba
- horse tranquilizers (kidding! Unless you have some?)

Sometimes these works, sometimes they don't. I have no caffeine after 8am. I exercise daily. I eat a healthy diet. I am about to lose my MIND.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Oh, Fine. I'm back.

In the past month or so I've had several friends make sad whiny noises about how I don't update my bloooooog anymore and how I'm so fuuuuunnnnny and whhhhhhy don't I update? I remind them about the awesomely funny style blog I share with Marianne and they make a face and then I make a face because THAT IS WHERE THE FUNNY IS and you should all be reading it.

But fine. Be that way. You don't have to read the style blog (even though it's FUNNY) if you don't want to even though it would be nice for the support and you'll be sorry when we're blog millionaires like Dooce and we will not let you frolic with us own our own private style blog island. So, just remember that.

Now, where was I? Oh, it was March and I was sick. Again. Since then, lots has happened:

- I spent TONS of money trying to keep my jackass car running.
- I quit the jewelry business.
- I won and lost mountain bike races.
- I went to hang out with Marianne in Knoxville a couple of times.
- I read a lot of books.
- I watched too much TV.
- I joined a bike team. Yay!
- I finally cured my insomnia after being (only slightly) addicted to sleeping pills*
- I did this by cutting out nearly all caffeine
- Which suuuuuucks.
- I whined a lot about how it's not summer anymore.
- I am having something of a mid-life crisis (more on that soon)

So, that's what I didn't post about this year. Any questions?

*OMG sleeping pills, they are amazing,  y'all. Seriously. I wish they didn't have the pesky side effect of altering brain chemistry and causing, like, amnesia because they work like CRAZY BALLS.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Just for Posterity.

If you're ever really, really sick, I have the best "sleep like you've been tranquilized" solution. A shot of NyQuil followed by a tequila chaser. I know this will horrify a few of you, but I'm telling you:

1. The only NyQuil worth taking is the liquid (green, not red). Yes, it tastes like battery acid, but that's because it works.

2. If you're not normally a "shot of tequila" kind of person (I'm not) try drinking a shot of NyQuil first. You will be shocked at how good the tequila tastes in comparison. Like a mouthful of golden nothing followed by a lovely mellow warmth. Trust.

All that said, I bring you the Nighty Night (as dubbed by my friend Marianne):

Monday, March 7, 2011

Model Citizen, Zero Dicipline.

This morning I tucked myself and all my day's stuff into the car, plugged in my iPod and hit "shuffle all" to see what kind of Monday it was going to be. My iPod picked...Panama by Van Halen.

Me: Really? Are you sure about this?

iPod: DUDE!

Me: Well...okay. If you say so.


And away we went, my iPod being much more optimistic than me. I've been sick though, with tonsillitis and a nasty cold, for well over a week and I'm just now really starting to feel better. The sick cloud started lifting on Saturday, but on Sunday it was rainy and bleak and I didn't sleep well, so I was back to feeling gross and worn out. "Rainy Sunday" sounds like a romantic kind of day but let's be realistic - it sucks. Everything is wet and cold and you are restless inside, but outside things aren't any better.

All the downer talk aside, the weekend ended on a decent note. I made a good dinner and we watched a documentary I'd found randomly on Netflix and knew nothing about: The Parking Lot Movie. I highly recommend it, especially if you've ever worked a job like this, where all your customers are mostly dicks but you really like your co-workers and creativity is encouraged. I mean, I know these guys. I've been these guys! Anyway, watch it. It's worth the hour. (Also, if you're local, the parking lot in the movie is in Charlottesville.)

Friday, February 25, 2011

Weekend Ennui

It's been one of those weeks that feels like it had an extra couple of Wednesdays in it or something, right? Normally I'd be delighted that it's Friday but I woke up with a sore throat again and I fear it's going to be one of those weekends where the weather is gorgeous and I spend it feeling like crrrrap. Also, Kenny has to work another 12-hour shift tomorrow (and is working one right now) so that kind of sucks too.

Hopefully it's just allergies and my throat will stop feeling like battery acid is being poured down the back. Even a cute outfit can't save it and I'm wearing my goddamn happy dress. WHY.

So, but here's something worthwhile - you know those Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books everyone loves? Believe the hype. I'm halfway through book two and I never want it to end. Also, there's a really sweet shopping passage (I love reading shopping descriptions almost as much as I love reading food descriptions) where the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo outfits her apartment from IKEA. The author actually lists what she bought! I was so geeked out but I wanted to see. And then! I though, INTERNET. Surely someone has already done this work for me? And behold, they have: Lisbeth Salander's IKEA shopping list.

And that is why I love the Internet.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Office Space.

So I mentioned a few posts ago that I was getting an office all for my own, and I did! I have my own office with a door and two giant windows and it's magical. Everything I ever dreamed it could be. The window next to my desk looks right into a giant magnolia tree so sometimes I catch myself staring out at the merry squirrels with my mouth hanging open like a simpleton. It's just that good.

I will also let the sun burn holes through my retinas in the morning because I really can't imagine drawing the blinds on all that AMAZING NATURAL LIGHT. It's so good! So good. So good, in fact, that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this just a cruel joke? Will I be dragged kicking and screaming back to my grey windowless Blair Witch murder corner? We shall see. Until then, here are some pictures of my view:

Awww, yeah. That is what I'm talking about.

Monday, February 7, 2011

I'm such an asshole.

Posted on my husband's Facebook page, for him to find when he gets home from work:

Dear Husband,

As I was rushing out of the door this morning I noticed something small and fuzzy by the bench. At first I though it was a toy mouse and then realized it was a mouse mouse. And dead. Or sleeping? Probably dead. I was late and also no way was I going to touch the dead thing, so welcome home! Please can you dispose of the mouse by the door?


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

How Not to Spend your Evening.

I had a great day yesterday. Completely stellar, really. It was just one of those magical days where good things happen and you feel really great to be alive. This is usually how you feel right before something totally shitty happens, right? Right.

So, last night around 9pm I let Stella out. It was raining which usually means she'd just hang out on the side porch and demand to come  in five minutes later. Two seconds after I let her out I completely forgot about her until bedtime, when Kenny was all, "Um, where's Stella?" Oops. Not good.

He went out in the dark, cold rainy night to look for her while I pretended to maybe see if he needed help. Meaning, I stood at the door calling her name until it was too cold to have the door open. Hey, I was in my pajamas and it was raining.

From the back yard Kenny said he could hear her and he wandered off, following the sound of her yowls. Then he came back in with Very Serious Face. Apparently she'd gotten herself treed. Again. Usually when this happens it's in one of the smaller trees in our yard and she comes down after a bit of cajoling.

This time, according to Kenny, she was up pretty high in a tree on our next door neighbor's property. Yes, he needed help and could I come hold the ladder. Goddammit. I pulled on boots and a coat over my pajamas and grimly followed him outside. It was midnight. Outside. Raining. Cold. Not our yard. Not good so far.

Then after tromping through the underbrush of the empty lot next to our neighbor's house, I saw the tree and...oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I think I stood there with rain falling in my face as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. It was a big-ass tree, straight up and down with a comical stubby broken nub of a branch about 20-25 feet up. On that broken nub branch? My cat.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I mean, what the hell were we going to do? She was yowling and wet and freaked out and SO FAR UP THERE. The ladder we own is 17' and it didn't even come close to where she was.

We talked to her a while and cajoled and discussed. Even if she could figure out how to get down, she'd most likely fall part of the way. The next closest branch was a good 15 feet below her. Oh my God. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. There was literally nothing I could do to help her.

We stood there in the dark, in the cold dark rainy night trying to figure out what to do and hoping that the neighbors didn't call the police. It started to rain harder.  We went inside and I got online to see if I could find any ideas. Meanwhile, Kenny took a large piece of foam he'd been hoarding and put it under the tree, just in case.

The Internet declared the best thing to do was to leave the cat alone, as she was less likely to come out of a tree if there were people at the base yelling at her. So, we finally decided to just go to bed and if she was still up there in the morning we'd call a tree service and beg for help.

Kenny camped out on the couch so he'd hear her if she came to the door, but we were both still really freaked out and sleep was not going to be a thing, really.

20 minutes later we heard a squawk and there she was, wet to the skin and HAPPY AS HELL to be home. I have no idea how she got herself out of that tree but she was completely unharmed. Damn cat. And here:

Oh my God, right?  Do not recommend.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Here's a Headline for you, Anderson

Did you guys see this?

If you didn't, let me convince you to watch:  Pee Wee Herman, Anderson Cooper, drunken shenanigans, intervention, Chairy tells Anderson to get the fuck off her. If that's not enough, I am not doing my job.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I Did Not Green Light This.

Did you see this? I am AGHAST. And also a little amused by how much it tweaked me. I am a CAPRICORN, DAMMIT. It is part of my (fake mythological) identity! Even though I've never quite felt like Capricorn! Please observe:

"The Capricorn individual is stable (eh), hard-working (um), practical (ha!), methodical (sure), and ambitious (no), never losing sight of his goals regardless of how many obstacles are in the way (You! Get out of my...what? Oooh, shiny.)

Socially, Capricorn is inhibited and uncomfortable in new situations (yes), approaching others at first with caution and suspicion (totally).  As far as money is concerned, Capricorn approaches finances as he does everything else - with prudence, planning, and discipline. (HA! HHAAAAAAAAA!!)  As such, there are not many Capricorns on the bottom of the barrel in society (Hi! It's nice in this barrel. Very...bottom-y.)"

Anyway, even though I'm not the Capri-est of Capricorns, its still part of my identity and I am NOT AT ALL PLEASED to be lumped into Sagittarius all of a sudden. Nothing wrong with Sagittarius if you are one, but I am not. For one thing, it's an extrovert sign. NON.

So, where do you fall in this new realm of things? I think it'll never stick. People are too invested in their fakery astrological personality whatnot to switch out now. Hmph.

Speaking of Capricorn-ness, my birthday approaches! It's Sunday and I'm looking forward to a weekend full of cake and gifts. I think I'm going to go see The King's Speech tomorrow with my mother, so there will be some Firth too. I think any weekend can be made better with a little Firth, really.

So, what are you doing this weekend?

Friday, January 7, 2011

Breathing Room.

You thought I wasn't going to do it, didn't you? But here I am, eking out a weekly entry as promised.

So, wanna know what the best thing I got for Christmas is? It's almost as good as a pony. Actually, in some ways it's better than a pony because it doesn't require upkeep. Can you guess?


Yes! The department I work in is being moved to the next building over and we're getting out of the windowless basement space we're in now. Currently I don't even have a proper cube, just a triangular desk that fits into a corner, Blair Witch murder style. I also have my back to the door so I jump out of my skin approximately 800 times a day. It's not... ideal. In fact, it makes me irritable and bitchy. Whoever came up with the open-office thing just needs to be shot because who can actually get anything done when there are people talking right behind you? It's maddening.

So, in three weeks I'll be packing up my drawers full of garbage and moving to my own little space with a door and a view and oh, all mine. And this change will hopefully making me at least 25% less bitchy. But no promises.