Friday, February 25, 2011

Weekend Ennui

It's been one of those weeks that feels like it had an extra couple of Wednesdays in it or something, right? Normally I'd be delighted that it's Friday but I woke up with a sore throat again and I fear it's going to be one of those weekends where the weather is gorgeous and I spend it feeling like crrrrap. Also, Kenny has to work another 12-hour shift tomorrow (and is working one right now) so that kind of sucks too.

Hopefully it's just allergies and my throat will stop feeling like battery acid is being poured down the back. Even a cute outfit can't save it and I'm wearing my goddamn happy dress. WHY.

So, but here's something worthwhile - you know those Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books everyone loves? Believe the hype. I'm halfway through book two and I never want it to end. Also, there's a really sweet shopping passage (I love reading shopping descriptions almost as much as I love reading food descriptions) where the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo outfits her apartment from IKEA. The author actually lists what she bought! I was so geeked out but I wanted to see. And then! I though, INTERNET. Surely someone has already done this work for me? And behold, they have: Lisbeth Salander's IKEA shopping list.

And that is why I love the Internet.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Office Space.

So I mentioned a few posts ago that I was getting an office all for my own, and I did! I have my own office with a door and two giant windows and it's magical. Everything I ever dreamed it could be. The window next to my desk looks right into a giant magnolia tree so sometimes I catch myself staring out at the merry squirrels with my mouth hanging open like a simpleton. It's just that good.

I will also let the sun burn holes through my retinas in the morning because I really can't imagine drawing the blinds on all that AMAZING NATURAL LIGHT. It's so good! So good. So good, in fact, that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this just a cruel joke? Will I be dragged kicking and screaming back to my grey windowless Blair Witch murder corner? We shall see. Until then, here are some pictures of my view:

Awww, yeah. That is what I'm talking about.

Monday, February 7, 2011

I'm such an asshole.

Posted on my husband's Facebook page, for him to find when he gets home from work:

Dear Husband,

As I was rushing out of the door this morning I noticed something small and fuzzy by the bench. At first I though it was a toy mouse and then realized it was a mouse mouse. And dead. Or sleeping? Probably dead. I was late and also no way was I going to touch the dead thing, so welcome home! Please can you dispose of the mouse by the door?


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

How Not to Spend your Evening.

I had a great day yesterday. Completely stellar, really. It was just one of those magical days where good things happen and you feel really great to be alive. This is usually how you feel right before something totally shitty happens, right? Right.

So, last night around 9pm I let Stella out. It was raining which usually means she'd just hang out on the side porch and demand to come  in five minutes later. Two seconds after I let her out I completely forgot about her until bedtime, when Kenny was all, "Um, where's Stella?" Oops. Not good.

He went out in the dark, cold rainy night to look for her while I pretended to maybe see if he needed help. Meaning, I stood at the door calling her name until it was too cold to have the door open. Hey, I was in my pajamas and it was raining.

From the back yard Kenny said he could hear her and he wandered off, following the sound of her yowls. Then he came back in with Very Serious Face. Apparently she'd gotten herself treed. Again. Usually when this happens it's in one of the smaller trees in our yard and she comes down after a bit of cajoling.

This time, according to Kenny, she was up pretty high in a tree on our next door neighbor's property. Yes, he needed help and could I come hold the ladder. Goddammit. I pulled on boots and a coat over my pajamas and grimly followed him outside. It was midnight. Outside. Raining. Cold. Not our yard. Not good so far.

Then after tromping through the underbrush of the empty lot next to our neighbor's house, I saw the tree and...oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I think I stood there with rain falling in my face as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. It was a big-ass tree, straight up and down with a comical stubby broken nub of a branch about 20-25 feet up. On that broken nub branch? My cat.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I mean, what the hell were we going to do? She was yowling and wet and freaked out and SO FAR UP THERE. The ladder we own is 17' and it didn't even come close to where she was.

We talked to her a while and cajoled and discussed. Even if she could figure out how to get down, she'd most likely fall part of the way. The next closest branch was a good 15 feet below her. Oh my God. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. There was literally nothing I could do to help her.

We stood there in the dark, in the cold dark rainy night trying to figure out what to do and hoping that the neighbors didn't call the police. It started to rain harder.  We went inside and I got online to see if I could find any ideas. Meanwhile, Kenny took a large piece of foam he'd been hoarding and put it under the tree, just in case.

The Internet declared the best thing to do was to leave the cat alone, as she was less likely to come out of a tree if there were people at the base yelling at her. So, we finally decided to just go to bed and if she was still up there in the morning we'd call a tree service and beg for help.

Kenny camped out on the couch so he'd hear her if she came to the door, but we were both still really freaked out and sleep was not going to be a thing, really.

20 minutes later we heard a squawk and there she was, wet to the skin and HAPPY AS HELL to be home. I have no idea how she got herself out of that tree but she was completely unharmed. Damn cat. And here:

Oh my God, right?  Do not recommend.