Tuesday, August 12, 2008

More Important Topics

Now, can we talk about something really important? I'm thinking The Olympics and human rights violations. More specifically, I think these stupid LZR bodysuits are violating my human right to see hot dudes in Speed0s. I'm not even joking. I mean, we are talking about the .001% of the population who should just walk around naked and they're wearing BODYSUITS? What has happened to the integrity of the Olympics? It's a damn shame.

And while we're on the topic, why can't the powers that be provide the women's volleyball team with bikinis that fit? It's like some team dude somewhere in a hotel in Beijing was all, "Oops! Looks like we only packed the XXS swimsuits! OH WELL." Truly, my husband doesn't seem to mind (uh, at all) but I really mind that the men's beach volleyball team wears tank tops and baggy shorts. WTF. How is that fair? Speed0s for all!

Clearly, I know what's important about the Olympics and I'll tell you right now:

1. Judging events about which you have no prior expertise. (I'm a crack judge in the synchronized diving category, just so you know.)

2. Nearly naked hot dudes.


3. My sister just reminded me about this national embarassment. Our president, ladies and gentleman! Wow. Just...wow. How many more days?

(Oh, and lest you all think I'm making light of human rights violations: I think it's completely ridiculous that the Olympics are in China at all. How did that even happen?)


  1. More embarassing was watching Clueless Bush and his clear boredom. Also his interview with Bob Sagat....whoo, doggies, how much longer is he the president? I'm really tired of Laura and her "nobody home" eyes.

  2. The tiny volleyball bikinis crack my husband up every time. He's all, "I'm sure that makes them that much better!"

  3. Rumor has it that W's drinking has gotten so bad that Laura is not even living at the White House anymore - and hasn't for quite some time. Love that he was smacking some volley-ball bikini ass.

  4. I could just die of embarrassment. Can't he go to the Betty Ford clinic?

  5. This is a line you can drop ONE TIME... I've chosen now (regarding the fairness of bodysuits for male swimmers). I was in Guyana having dinner with the Minsiter of Health, the First Lady (no shit), and 3 American pediatric neurosurgeons. We were having a discussion about medical ethics. The naive American "non-medical team member" (errrm...me) said, "HOW IS THAT FAIR?!" One of the surgeons turned to me and said, "Jason, 'fair' is where you buy balloons." um....snap. 'nuff said.

  6. oh... oh... if it weren't for the tiny bikinis, I would NEVER have recognized Misty May...seriously.