Friday, August 1, 2008

Control Yourself.

Last night I had the second part of my meditation class and it focused more on health and healing, with a little bit of cringy inner-spirit/angel/God stuff thrown in, and even though it wasn't past-life regression (which we didn't perform, by the way, we just discussed) it was still really interesting.

He talked about healing and how meditation has been proven to help with serious illnesses, like cancer and heart disease. Then he casually dropped the C bomb- his wife has terminal cancer. I then realized that the woman sitting next to me and perhaps another woman sitting across from me were also currently battling cancer. I felt like a giant asshole. I wanted to raise my hand and announce that I was a huge jerk for nattering on about my stupid jewelry business and how I wanted to use the broadcast decree to attract customers. I'M SORRY YOU HAVE CANCER. PLEASE DON'T MIND MY SELF-CENTERED BULLSHIT.

Right before we did the healing meditation, when the instructor was talking about his wife and how it had helped her to cope, he also was all, "but this will work for a cold too! It doesn't have to be serious, like cancer." So that's good to know. But still, I felt like a worm. A worm flaunting my good health all over the place.

Amusing aside about my customer-attracting broadcast: the instructor was freaking delighted that I'd tried it and wants me to email him and let him know how it turns out. Such a nice man! It was a really good class overall.


  1. I don't know, maybe those women were happy to hear you talk about something normal; they probably have cancer on their minds 24/7 and welcome the chance to think about something else?

  2. Stop. Right. There.

    You are SO not a bad person.

    What you ARE is extremely susceptible to survivor guilt.

    And that makes you a GOOD person.

  3. We all have our 'Flip ourselves off' moment, and that was yours. You made an error, adn that just makes you human...not a monster.

    There will be other days that you can make up for that mistake, and it was just that...a mistake!!