I'm tired. Really, really tired. I've been having trouble falling asleep off and on for the past couple of weeks and because I'm stubborn and not a quitter I can't just stop trying. I'm normally one of those jerks who falls asleep instantly so this is really ridiculously annoying. I know after 30 minutes of lying awake you're supposed to get up and do something else, but how is that going to help me to be asleep? Instead, I keep trying. You know what happens when you try to force yourself to fall asleep? Your heart races and you breathe really shallowly. Oh, maybe that is why I can't fall asleep. I weep.
I've been dosing with Benedry1 (wonder! drug!) off and on but we were out of it. Sadness. I did stumble across a half does of Ativ@n leftover from my dental nightmare and took it hoping it would chill me out but nothing happened. Stupid dumb drugs. I lay there vibrating with non-sleep even though I was so physically tired that I could barely move my body. Yesterday was my sixth day of workouts before my usual rest day and when I picked up the 30lb barbell to do my usual warmup, it felt heavy. That is never a good sign when your easy warmup weight feels like a giant cartoon anvil.
So now I'm grudgingly doing all the shit I hate to do: cutting out mid-day caffeine, cutting out sugar, cutting out joy. I'm a party. The sugar part is especially hard because I really love my sugar. I love my candy so much. Recently someone in my office brought in a bag of Hersey's Miniatures, which aren't my favorite, but I still like them so I've been trying to avoid. (See also: insomnia.) But! Then I remembered reading a review on Candy Blog and I pulled it up. Sad but true, Mr. Goodbar and Krackel are no longer made with pure milk chocolate; they now have crap mixed in. "That's horrible", I thought, "I should do a taste test immediately to make sure this is true. A really pure, scientific taste test in which I just take a small bite of each and see if I can taste the addition of the horrible palm oils and whatnot. Then I shall rinse out my mouth and throw the rest in the trash."
So I did. It went like this:
Krackel - I took a tiny bite and sure enough, it was no longer quite as tasty. A bit fake and oily...but still pretty good. I took another bite and then ate the rest real quick.
Mr. Goodbar - I took a small bite and sure enough, it was also not as good as it used to be. I sighed with sadness before shoveling it down, roasty peanuts, mockolate and all, in the manner of Cookie Monster.
Special Dark - Never my favorite. It's "dark" chocolate without actually being dark chocolate. Hmph. I ate it as if someone was trying to snatch it out of my hand.
Hersey's Milk Chocolate - Again, not my favorite, but I ate it in two quick slavering bites before searching frantically, droolingly, for more.
A highly professional and controlled taste test, yes sir. Now, please excuse me while I go curl up for a nap under my desk.