Friday, February 27, 2009

The Joys of Sleep Deprivation

I'm tired. Really, really tired. I've been having trouble falling asleep off and on for the past couple of weeks and because I'm stubborn and not a quitter I can't just stop trying. I'm normally one of those jerks who falls asleep instantly so this is really ridiculously annoying. I know after 30 minutes of lying awake you're supposed to get up and do something else, but how is that going to help me to be asleep? Instead, I keep trying. You know what happens when you try to force yourself to fall asleep? Your heart races and you breathe really shallowly. Oh, maybe that is why I can't fall asleep. I weep.

I've been dosing with Benedry1 (wonder! drug!) off and on but we were out of it. Sadness. I did stumble across a half does of Ativ@n leftover from my dental nightmare and took it hoping it would chill me out but nothing happened. Stupid dumb drugs. I lay there vibrating with non-sleep even though I was so physically tired that I could barely move my body. Yesterday was my sixth day of workouts before my usual rest day and when I picked up the 30lb barbell to do my usual warmup, it felt heavy. That is never a good sign when your easy warmup weight feels like a giant cartoon anvil.

So now I'm grudgingly doing all the shit I hate to do: cutting out mid-day caffeine, cutting out sugar, cutting out joy. I'm a party. The sugar part is especially hard because I really love my sugar. I love my candy so much. Recently someone in my office brought in a bag of Hersey's Miniatures, which aren't my favorite, but I still like them so I've been trying to avoid. (See also: insomnia.) But! Then I remembered reading a review on Candy Blog and I pulled it up. Sad but true, Mr. Goodbar and Krackel are no longer made with pure milk chocolate; they now have crap mixed in. "That's horrible", I thought, "I should do a taste test immediately to make sure this is true. A really pure, scientific taste test in which I just take a small bite of each and see if I can taste the addition of the horrible palm oils and whatnot. Then I shall rinse out my mouth and throw the rest in the trash."

So I did. It went like this:

Krackel - I took a tiny bite and sure enough, it was no longer quite as tasty. A bit fake and oily...but still pretty good. I took another bite and then ate the rest real quick.

Mr. Goodbar - I took a small bite and sure enough, it was also not as good as it used to be. I sighed with sadness before shoveling it down, roasty peanuts, mockolate and all, in the manner of Cookie Monster.

Special Dark - Never my favorite. It's "dark" chocolate without actually being dark chocolate. Hmph. I ate it as if someone was trying to snatch it out of my hand.

Hersey's Milk Chocolate - Again, not my favorite, but I ate it in two quick slavering bites before searching frantically, droolingly, for more.

A highly professional and controlled taste test, yes sir. Now, please excuse me while I go curl up for a nap under my desk.


  1. Sorry about the sleep deprivation. I feel your pain. As for chocolate, I was walking back to the bathroom today (at work) and saw a wrapped choc kiss on the floor. Just sitting there, abandoned. I picked it up, unwrapped it, and ate it.

  2. I understand that the quicker you eat chocolates, the quicker they go through your digestive system too, so you don't absorb as many calories.


  3. It's true the miniatures aren't as good as they used to be. However, the fact that they are now packaged in holiday-specific bags that go on half-price clearance the day after the holiday, they are forgiven.

  4. OMG I think the same voices tell me to eat chocolate (and, frankly, all candy) exactly the same way! Searching frantically, droolingly? I'm totally all over it. I actually confessed to Herb this morning that I've been known to force Elliot to squirt dish soap onto a half pan of brownies that I was going to simply stand at the counter and (frantically, droolingly) eat.

    Self control and me? Not exactly acquainted.


  5. If you are suffering from sleep problems such as insomnia or obstructive sleep apnea, you need to consider this problem seriously and adopt specific measures at the earliest to get back your sleep. Regular exercising is one of the options to ensure sound sleep at night. Altogether, if you are unable to get adequate sleep during night, you can undertake certain initiatives to overcome your sleep problems such as fixing your sleeping as well as waking schedule and abstaining from alcohol, nicotine, tea, coffee et al before hitting the bed.