Only Me.

Okay, here's the thing. This has not at all been a bad week for me. Decent as weeks go, especially when I had the shining realization that next week was a two-day work week. THAT IS SO GOOD.

In the average day I live moment to moment, occasionally laughing out loud at something in my head or having random dark thoughts out of nowhere, like when I drove back from lunch earlier today, spotted the Annoying Mail Guy's van and briefly contemplated flooring the gas pedal and ramming into it just to scare the crap out of him. (Not to maim or kill, people. No, really.) This thought also made me happy so maybe I'm just dark. (But not dark enough to be able to handle watching that new zombie show. Why did I think I could handle that? I CANNOT handle that.)

So, the week in general has been clomping along just fine and then?  I got locked in the bathroom at work. Unlike the last time I got locked in the bathroom, this wasn't a single stall so much as a single room bathroom with a faulty doorknob that decided to just take the day off. I'm surprised I didn't actually break my face when I unlocked the door and flung my full weight into it only to thump my body uselessly against a plank of solid oak. Ow.

I fiddled with the knob and tried over and over to open the door but it wasn't happening. I was perplexed, then full of denial, then angry that I was stuck without a book or iPod or ANYTHING to keep me occupied.

A few minutes later I heard someone on the other side of the door rustling around in the fridge and I banged on the door and told this person I was locked in. They were all, "Oh, no! Hold on! I'll go find the custodian!"

I was relieved until I heard this person pause,  unwrap their Lean Cuisine, leisurely put it in the microwave and push the buttons before finally bothering to wander off and find someone to free me. Well, thanks, jerk. I'll just be hanging out HERE IN THE BATHROOM WHILE YOU EAT YOUR LUNCH FIRST.

Eventually she came back with the custodian who freed me with a pair of scissors (with which she jimmied the lock.) There was, of course, a whole group of folks gathered around in the hall gleefully waiting to see who the victim was. Well, hi there, assholes. Just me. Of course it's me.

Then, THEN, the custodian said, "You're the second person who's gotten locked in here today!"

Okay, really? Because there shouldn't have been a second person, right? I mean, after the first person has proven the lock to be faulty, perhaps a note? Or a piece of tape over the lock thingy?

Anyway. All of this is just a lead-up to plug my friend Pamela's blog. Because this girl tells embarrassing stories the likes of which you will not believe. But I've met her and it's all true. She really is that awesome.

Forgive me.

I know, dude. I KNOW. This is ridiculous that I'm even admitting I do this but sometimes when I'm bored I go back a few years and read old entries just to find out where my brain was in, say, 2007. And then I read this entry and started snort-laughing at my desk because that shit is FUNNY.

Then I remembered I wrote it and felt like a jerk for being all, I'M SO AWESOMELY FUNNY.

But, sometimes I am.

Reading all my posts from November 2007 (when I did NaBloPoMo) makes me really miss my old Amblus scrawls. While I don't know that I have a daily entry in me, I do promise to try to update in a more timely manner and to more often share the weird crap that happens to me. You guys still out there?

...And, it's November.

I'm such an ass. Sorry, kids. But, I feel like I will have new and exciting things to talk about after this coming weekend, as my husband and I are going on a short trip to celebrate our ten year anniversary. The original plan was to go back to Charleston so I could eat this, but alas, Charleston is freaking expensive. But! Instead we've decided to rent a cabin at Douthat State Park and go mountain biking in the actual, you know, mountains. Sounds fun! And it will be, except for the part where you ride uphill for hours.

Also, the weather forecast right now looks kind of awful, but there will be a cabin and and fireplace and s'mores and we can always do things like "talk to each other" so I think it'll be a fun weekend either way. It's been ages since we took a vacation together, so we're both looking forward to it.

I promise crossmyheart that I will post photos an' shit after we get back because this blog has just been dying a slow death. Maybe I need to botch up a cake recipe again or something. Dang.

Still Alive and Kicking in a Feeble Manner.

Hi, sorry. Apparently I can only handle one blog at a time? And it's way easier to just post a dumb photo of my outfit than actually put words, like, together. In a meaningful manner. Excuses excuses.

Summer is over and I am a little sad about that.  But, I do have something to talk about. My high school reunion is this weekend. My 20th.  I'm surprisingly not only not scared, I'm actually looking forward to it. Apparently 20 years is exactly the amount of time you need to get perspective on what actually matters and what to just let go. I didn't even consider going to my 10th because, oh hell no! I hated high school! Also, at 28 I was not in a great place - unemployed, overweight, set adrift in my own insecurity.

Now, at 38 I am much more sure of myself. I tried to explain to my old best friend from high school that I wanted to go because I felt like I was a more interesting person now, and she laughed at me like that was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. Or, she just though I was being self-centered. And maybe I was, but hey, I feel good about myself now and that's not the worst thing in the world is it? I refuse to be intimidated by the girls who could barely be bothered to talk to me 20 years ago because who's to say they're still that person? I would hate to be judged solely based on the child I was 20 years ago because, like most kids, I was kind of an asshole sometimes. An asshole with badly hennaed hair.

A bit of background: I went to a very small private school for Dyslexic kids for 7th, 8th and 9th grade, then "mainstreamed" into a middling private Catholic girl's school for 10-12. This was okay because I had a few friends there already, but also not okay because, in missing my freshman year, I missed the sorting process of clique hierarchy. I was automatically sorted into my existing friend's group of friends which worked out, but also prevented me from choosing my own friends upfront. Anyway, we fell somewhere in the middle of the Popularity Ladder. We were not popular, but also not not popular. It's complex.

Anyway, enough of the people I'd want to see again have signed up and a few of the "popular" girls have as well, so it should be interesting. I would like to add that I will look SLAMMIN' at both events I'm going to. I happen to know that one of my high school ex-boyfriends is attending, so I think looking awesome is both necessary and right.

Camp, 2010.

Hi hi hi! I have been busy. First of all, if you care to read me blather on about fitness stuff and/or cycling, I am now blogging at Bodies in Motivation. You can find me here.  If you don't give a shit, that's fine too. (There is a reason I don't post about that stuff much on this blog, don't you know.)

So, I am straight up horrified that summer is nearly over. Straight. Up. Horrified. The students come back next week and oh my God soon I won't be able to find a quiet corner anywhere. I knew it was coming, just not so soon.

So, I haven't told you about Camp this year and it happened weeks ago! Camp was at Marianne's beautiful new house and instead of getting all crazy on the boat we got all crazy on Dollywood.

First stop was Ye Olde Timey Photo Shoppe where we unanimously chose "wild west bar whores." It was a crazy success:

The rest of Dollywood was all about fried food and roller coasters and blazing heat. I think I'm officially Done with roller coasters. I might actually be too old. We rode a wooden coaster that was supposed to be about fun but was actually all about pain and suffering:

I talked Marianne into riding it and immediately regretted it. This regret can best be shown in this photo:

That's me in the back, horrified. Next to me is Marianne, horrified. Shelley and Emily seem to be fine? I have no idea why. We ate fried things:

We gawked at people and rode the shittiest train ride ever. Perhaps a warning about the eye-searing cinders could be made BEFORE we board the train?

It was ridiculous and fun. An experience.

We went to Marianne's grandmother's house and swam in her pool, which was very different than the lake in that it was clean and stuff:

...as long as you didn't mind the snarling, diving Jack Russell:

Deary is not a good boy. Marianne's grandmother, though, was lovely and her house is incredible.

Mostly we just hung out and ate and played games and talked. It was a really good time as always and now I miss everyone terribly. It's generally the highlight of my summer and this year was no exception.

I miss you guys.

Friday! Stuff!!!1

You're bored, right? For you, I provide entertainment. You're welcome.

Tift Merritt. I know I've talked about her before but I cannot say enough good things about her new album,  See You on the Moon. I bought it back in June, a week or so before we saw her live in Ashland. It was an amazing show, as always. While I think she should be SUPER FAMOUS by now, I do love that I get to see her in really small venues. It's what she does best. Now, this album. It's the kind of thing you listen to a few times and think, "Well, that's nice." Then a few more listens and suddenly you are living and breathing these songs, you hear them in your head, you can't stop thinking about certain lyrics, you just can't get enough. At least, that's been my experience. It's absolutely worth buying, so please do!

Hyperbole and a Half. Why am I just discovering this blog? If you want to know what my average day is like (in my head), read this. And this. Also this. Oh, if you're at work, grab a sock or something to stuff in your mouth to muffle the laughter. If you forget that part and get fired, not my fault.

Pamie is one of my favorite people on the Internet, for serious. If you want to be truly entertained, please go read her account of a day spent at a Korean spa.  I read it three times because I just COULD NOT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT. Of course, I really want to go to there even though I know it would be awkward and humiliating. Sadly, it's in LA, so instead I settled for ordering one of those crazy scrubber mitts (weirdly called an "Italy Towel") off the eBay. I WANT TO BE SOFT LIKE WHIPPED CREAM.

Tomatoes. You know it's summer when you find a tomato rolling around in the back of your car and think, "Oh! That's where that went." I got the first tomatoes of the season this week from my CSA and oh my sweet baby Jesus. I could just eat tomatoes and nothing else until September. Go get you some. If you're making a face it's probably because you've never had a good one. There are tomatoes and there are TOMATOES. Find the latter kind.

Have a good weekend!

I'm Slack

Did I really only have one post in June? That is just slack. Slack slack slack. I've started this entry three times, by the way. But in my own defense, not much is going on right now and I kind of like it. It's been super hot which seems to be a topic everyone likes to yammer on about, but I'm from the school of "It's JULY and We Live In The South, Assholes." I mean, people, remember this? It SUCKED. Give me hot any day. I'll even take the 103 degree days because how hardcore is that? That is what I'm talking about (until the Virginia Power bill arrives.)

And like my sister, I'm a little freaked out by how fast the summer seems to be flying by. It's already July! It seems like things just got going. I have to treasure these empty-campus days. They are precious.

Last weekend was 4th of July and it was very relaxing. We spent the weekend hanging out, eating, biking, the usual. We spent the evening of the 4th at Kate's folks house, where we played in the pool, drank watermelon margaritas and listened to Jean Shepherd's story about Ludlow Kissel and the Dago Bomb. All good.

I have a lull now, but in exactly two weeks I'll be on my way to Knoxville for CAMP!!1 Now, Camp (read about it here and here if you're new)  is going to be a little different this year because the lake cabin has been sold (...pause for a moment of silence...) but our fearless Camp Leader is allowing us to stay at her house, seeming to assume we won't destroy her plumbing. In lieu of boating we will be going to Dollywood. Yes, you read that right. Please go ahead and be jealous, I'll wait.







After my Camp weekend I'll have an entire vacation week to roll around in! I haven't had a week off since December, so I'm really looking forward to it. More about that soon. Now, if you're nice I'll do my college best to put up a "stuff I like" entry tomorrow.