Stimulating Talk About the Weather

This morning it rained. Yesterday it rained. Sunday it rained. Last weekend, it rained. This shit has got to stop because when you pair seasonal dysfunction with my own fine brand of hormonal dysfunction you get a very, very scary situation. Yesterday when trying to drive quickly to get to the gym in time for a 5:30pm cycling class I actually caught myself giving the finger to a raindrop that dared to land on my windshield. And if I could have reached through that windshield and pushed the other cars out of my way, I probably would have.

I pretty much lost my mind after I got to the gym, changed real fast, made a dash to the bathroom and, when I headed for one of the three sinks to wash my hands, some girl neatly cut me off to take the only open sink. I really almost throttled her. Instead, I channeled my rage into a little tap-dance of impatience which made everyone look at me like I was crazy. Hey girls, guess what? I AM. AND CRAZY WANTS TO WASH HER DAMN HANDS SO MOVE.

Yes, I am that girl, thank you.

Spinning class was incredibly productive because I had lots and lots of angry energy to spin out of my system but also still had plenty of inner-snark regarding a bitchy girl I used to go to high school with who has the worst cycling form of all time. (I mean, damn girl, you sure can spin those pedals but you might want to try some of that there resistance so that you're actually doing something.) By the time I got home I pretty much wanted to crawl into a corner with a chocolate bar in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. I could clearly see myself hissing at anyone who approached while stroking the wine bottle and calling it my precious. Instead I made a healthy dinner that was not fried (EVEN THOUGH I WANTED IT TO BE) and dutifully had half a glass of wine.

I'm feeling just fine today, by the way. In case you're scared of me or something. Also, I've updated my bike blog recently, so go take a look and quit bitching about it.

I remembered the third thing and what the hell have I been doing with my time?

Okay, that third thing? Its weird. Twice, I've had people here at work make weird jestures around their face and jaw to demonstrate to me how they knew I wasn't feeling well. The first time it happened was when I was recovering from the flu. The janitor asked me if I was feeling better and said she could tell I wasn't because [insert her making a swirly hand-motion around her jaw area.] Wow, great.

Then, last week, it happened again! I was in a two hour meeting the morning after a night of barely sleeping. (I was also having a small problem with keeping my face straight and my eyes from rolling because the meeting was really awful and people were saying dumb things. Lots of dumb things. But that's a whole different issue.) Anyway, after the meeting a woman I know asked if I was feeling okay. I mentioned the insomnia and she said she could see it in my face and made the same swirly jesture around her jaw to demonstrate. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Does my jaw do awful face-deforming things that I'm unaware of? Totally paranoid now, thanks.

As for what I've been busy with, you can read it here, here and here. Go crazy.

I'll Stop the World and Mentally Breakdown with You

GOD COULD THIS WEEK JUST END ALREADY. Sorry to be all MIA but it's been insane around here in new and special ways. Lots of crazy events at work (reunion, inauguration etc.) lots of crazy events in general (Spring Bada-Bing, Sunday April 20th please go. please.) and I haven't had time to do much of anything when it comes to the blog world. My sad bike blog hasn't been updated in two months! It's hard to write about biking when it's rained for a month solid. ANYWAY. Here are a few things I might one day have time to write about:

- First, the next person who tsks at me and tells me to check the number on the bottom of my fake nalgene water bottle is going to get a face full of plastic-poisoned water. I DO NOT CARE. I don't have the time or energy to worry about this right now. Plus, the alternative is how many stitches I'll get from all the broken glass when I replace all my plastic containers. So, really, fucking lay off. The Today Show doesn't know everything.

- Second, the beautiful and glorious weeping willow in our back yard, the prettiest thing our yard had going for it, is stone dead. I can't even talk about it without getting a little choked up.

- Third, ...blink. Brain dead. I had a third thing but it's gone now. If I remember it I'll let you know.