Toothy Time.

Things have been rough around our house lately - more bad news than we can handle, but nothing I feel like discussing in blogland. Instead I think I should tell you about the continuing saga of my dental adventures. If you want to read about what happened the last time I had dental adventures, go here. or here. or here. or here.

YEAH. I don't mess around. Anyway, I had another between-the-teeth cavity needing filling, so last Tuesday morning I dropped my car off for new tires (ugh) and walked the two blocks to my dentist's office. I like to compound all my unpleasant chores, I guess. I'd taken half an Ativ@n in the hopes that it would render me calm enough to not have a panic attack or anything but in retrospect I should have taken three. It started out unpleasantly enough, with the numbing gel and then the horrible needle gun thing. The dentist was using a different system (I was told) that was less invasive, but had to be injected approximately 1 million times in small increments. Inject. Inject. Inject. Inject. I couldn't feel pain, but I could feel the weird pressure and taste the Novocaine and my entire body was tensed up. When he pulled the needle out I felt this horrible pressure-release sensation and started to get the clammy tingling...my first sign that things were not going to go well.

The dentist asked if I was okay and I said the release sensation was really freaky.

"Oh, that's nothing! The needle I used to use way, way longer and..."

"STOP. THAT'S COOL. NO DETAILS."

"Okay! I'm going back in for just a bit more. I want to make sure you're really numb."

That's all I remember. When I opened my eyes I remember looking up and seeing strangers looking at me and I had no clue, no fucking clue, where I was or who those people were. It took me a full minute to figure it out. I'd passed out cold and when I did I went somewhere else entirely. I think I actually dreamed a bit while I was out. Only me.

After that I was fine and he did the whole cavity drilling, filling, tamping, curing thing. I got a composite filling and spent the rest of the day feeling like someone had punched me in the face. The general soreness wore off, but the pain and bite sensitivity was still there. Plus, I couldn't get floss in between the filled tooth and the one behind it. It hurt and the floss shredded. Grand. SO, I went back today to get it filed down. The top part was fine, but to get the fit right between the teeth involved thin strips of metal that were sawed back and forth between my teeth. STRIPS OF METAL. The thinnest variety kept snapping in half so he used the next size up and it mothereffing hurt. The only saving grace was the dentist was convinced I was going to faint again so he'd SAW SAW SAW then back off for a second to let me recover.

A couple of times I made sad little hyena shrieky noises because what else could I do? I really wanted to get punchy but you can't punch your dentist. You can, however, shriek a little bit. Thankfully no small children were in the office at the time, but I'm sure the guy in the next room was delighted. Sorry, dude. If someone was sawing metal bits between your teeth, you'd shriek too.

Thankfully, it's all over and everything seems to be in order. I'm still a little sore but at least I can eat without pain. Woo! Bring on the candy apples, bitches.