I know a girl who's like the sea.

This week has just been, wow. It's just been.

(Wait. I think I need to stop right here for a sec in case you started listening to This American Life this week because I said so, because damn this week's episode was depressing. Like, crazy depressing. They're not all like that! I swear! Jesus, Ira, what are you trying to do to me?)

It's been the kind of week that I can only laugh about because the other option has already been used up. To fill you in, have I bitched lately about this stupid filling I have? It's not just crazy sensitive to hot/cold/air/sugar, it's also prone to throbbing from time to time just for the hell of it. Recently, however that time to time has been almost all the time to time. Tylenol helps, but I can still feel it (right this second) gently jabbing away in the background.

I realized at the beginning of a spinning class earlier this week that it wasn't just the usual throbbing pain, it was now stabbing pain and it was getting worse. I took the class anyway because I'm a masochist and the pain faded temporarily, as it's wont to do. Then I woke up in the middle of the night in pain. On Thursday I finally broke down and went to the dentist because apparently what's missing in my life is more bad news. Just what I need!

He told me I needed a root canal and, oh yeah, a crown. I left the office numbly and didn't start crying until I was in the car. Partly because goddammit with the dental bullshit, partly because my tooth still really hurt and mostly because OMG THAT SOUNDS EXPENSIVE, RIGHT? I do have insurance, but it only covers a blithe 50%. I should also mention that I'm still paying off the stupid filling itself, as my insurance apparently doesn't cover composite fillings. So, I'm still paying for something that's about to be drilled out of existence. Mother Eff.

I went back to work and sort of crumbled into my chair. I was supposed to go to the gym after work and then to my meditation class after that, but all I wanted to do was go home and curl up on the couch and and cry and take a Percocet and maybe eat a fistful of cookies. So that's what I did. I got in my car and just kind of drove past the gym and decided I wasn't doing any of it. Not that night, anyway.

Then I spent the whole next day on a golf course, but that's it's own surreal story.

Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.

This was my Sunday afternoon:

- tried to buy a tank of gas using my grocery store discount card -> the program software was down.

- cringed my way into Walmart to buy an item that is no longer carried at Target or CVS - > Walmart doesn't have it either.

- after returning something at Target I tried to buy a cup of decaf for Kenny from the in-store Starbucks -> they didn't have any brewed.

- went to the free-standing Starbucks across the parking lot to buy the decaf - > they didn't have any brewed (WTF) and seemed put out by my request.

- stopped by Food Dog to pick up wine and a small package of cookies -> they no longer carry the small packages of cookies.

- stopped by CVS for the goddamn cookies -> they no longer carry the small packages of cookies.

- went home to cry -> success!


Highlights of Overheard Conversations

At the gym:

weight lifting dude #1 to weight lifting dude #2 - "Yeah, she introduced me to the Facebook? You know, on the computer?"


In a store dressing room:

girl in the next room answers her cellphone-

"Hello?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I DON'T BEELEEEEEEEEEEEEVE IT."

"REALLY? THEY DON'T HAVE WATERMELON JELL-O? ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT ABOUT MELON FUSION?"

(short pause)

"NO??? I'M SO UPSET!! IT'S MY FAVORITE!"

She then called another friend to update them on the tragic Jell-O situation. I guess those shooters are going to have to be Lime Blast instead, kids.

Stuff that works and stuff that doesn't.

I know, I'm sorry. Last week was...bad. It was a bad week and I wanted to write about it but sometimes the writing just makes the bad that much badder. The short version is this:

I took my car in for a routine state inspection and oil change and $1,400 (and two days) later I got it back. That is a very hard conversation to have with a mechanic when you're at work, especially when you know co-workers are listening in. Last week was also the week in which I shoved food in my mouth with both hands with nary a breath or pause. It was also the week that girl scout cookies were delivered. These things are probably related.

This week has started out much more quietly and with a lot less sugar, and yet? The insomnia I thought was solved by daylight-saving-induced exhaustion is back. Yay! Hi, insomnia. You suck it. Here's what didn't work last night: decaf iced tea (sob), space heater white noise, Benedryl. When the dang Benny doesn't work you know you're INFORIT. I will be taking an advanced meditation course next week so I'm going to request that he help me out. Also! The instructor said we might to a past-life regression if we have time. I'm going to kick it's ass this time, sure enough.

So, update out of the way, I thought I'd share with you all a few things that have been working for me lately. These are not amazing new inventions, just bits and pieces that have brought me small joy, as I'm not allowed to buy anything ever again (see car repair above) so I've been trying to get by with the things I already own or are free. (This is NO FUN, but I'm trying.)

1. This American Life.
I love my little iPod so much and lately I've been subscribing to the free This American Life podcast. If you don't listen to this, start. It's so good and so interesting and you'll have tons of stories to annoy your husband with. I'll be all,

"Kenny! Kenny! There was this story? On this American Life? About this room? Where NY teachers are placed when they're on probation? And they stay there for months sometimes? And still get paid? It's crazy! You should listen!"

I think I do this to him at least once a week. If you don't have an iPod you can also listen to it free right from the website and revel with me in the dorky hot goodness that is Ira Glass.


2. Too Close to the Falls
I love a good memoir and Too Close to the Falls is REALLY good. Plus, the author has a blog where she talks about the sequel that she's writing. It's just such an interesting story about growing up as an unconventional kid near Niagara Falls in the 1950's. Her stories are great but the ending was a bit abrupt, so I was really glad to hear about the sequel. (Also, who lent this to me? I found it in my shelves and have no idea where it came from. Was it lent? Was is on my Amazon list? Did I get it for Christmas? I have no idea.)

3. No Line on the Horizon
I know some of the reviews about U2's new album are not great, but it is. Great, I mean. Aside from a few songs that are WAY TOO LONG (seriously, boys? 7 1/2 minutes? That is just showing off and I also think maybe you're underestimating most people's attention spans) it's solid and has a few tracks that are perfect for driving (my favorite kind of song.)


4. Life on Mars
I like anything named for my favorite Bowie song and I REALLY like this show even though it's already been canceled because ABC sucks. At least they get to finish out the season and give it an ending (unlike poor Pushing Daisies, which I'm still mad about. I hate you, ABC.) Watch Life on Mars if for no other reason than to enjoy my fine new crush, Jason O'Mara (who, as a bonus, is Irish!) *sigh*


Now, leave me a comment and tell me what you're enjoying lately that's free.

Snow Day.

There's an old saying around here: Don't like the weather in Richmond? Wait ten minutes.

Last Sunday was the ten minutes I'd been waiting on for the past four years. FOUR YEARS since we had any real snow in the city, five since I had an honest-to-God snow day. It was a textbook perfect set up: the snow started Sunday late afternoon and continued all night creating a most coveted snow-filled long weekend. A mid-week snow day is fine but a Monday snow day is perfection.

For those of you gagging and rolling your eyes please understand that winter here is generally a lot of 20-40 degree temperatures with some grey sky and cold rain thrown in. It's pretty monotonous and snow is such an anomaly that we get all worked up about it. We're also wildly unprepared which is why public schools were out for most of the week. It sort of irritates me when out-of-towners sneer about our lack of snow-driving skills because how do you practice something like that? I just abstain and sit on the couch stuffing my maw while watching TV. Later I might take a nap, but who knows? You don't have to get anything done on a snow day, there are no rules.

Eventually, we decided to walk around in the snow because you have to walk around in it to really experience it. We also felt the cats needed to experience it too, so we let them out and did not heed their immediate cries of omgwtfwetpawsbackinnowNOWNOW because, hey! They asked to go out! We were just helping to make their dreams come true. Proof:



Ha, don't they look pissed? Before you feel sorry for them, just remember that they sleep 22 hours a day. Here's what our yard looked like:


And our little house:



We went for a walk around the neighborhood and took some photos:


Yay, I finally got to wear my Hunter boots!


The sweet garage behind me belongs to our neighbor Woody:

The sun was in my eyes, which is why my face looks like that. (Note to self: zip up bulgy jacket pockets. Very unattractive.)

When we got back from our walk we found a bunch of kids playing in our yard. We've never seen them before but they were having a great time so we left them to it:


Those icicles have been known to kill people!


It's supposed to be 80 degrees this weekend. Bye snow!