I just got back from getting my hair cut and it was the highlight thus far of my day. Terrifying receptionist aside, it's really a very nice place. They will bring you a drink and then I get my hair washed and my scalp massaged. Then I chat with my stylist about trashy TV while she cuts. I walk out of there feeling cute, get an iced tea from Starbucks (Hey, fuck off, Starbucks iced tea is awesome. It has crack in it.) which I needed because the minute I got back in my car I wanted to crawl into the back seat and take a nap. I didn't sleep last night and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of this day.
Or, maybe I did sleep, but I think it was probably in fifteen minute increments because I felt like I was awake all night and every time I started to doze off I'd jolt awake, my heart racing. Now, before you start pointing your pointy finger at the caffeine, I've pretty much cut out all caffeine from my life aside from the mug of coffee I worship with breakfast but it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. I sleep or I don't sleep. I don't seem to have much control over it.
Sunday night there was a horrific thunder storm in the middle of the night and it did wake me up, but only long enough for me to acknowledge it and fall solidly back asleep, lightening and thunder be dammed. But last night was quiet, my sheets were crisp, the temperature was neither too hot nor too cold and I was AWAKE BECAUSE OMG MY BRAIN WILL NOT TURN OFF.
Do you know the kind of things my brain likes to obsess about in the middle of the night? Not good things. Not boots or kittens or dessert. No, it likes to work through every bad thing I've ever done, every bit of guilt I've ever felt, every slight I've ever caused and MAGNIFY it into OH MY GOD territory.
Sorry, were you waiting for my point? I don't have one. Just that I'm tired and kind of grumpy and might have given the mail guy the finger behind his back for no reason. I'm really not a nice person today.
Related, if you aren't listening to This American Life, please at least listen to this one.
Mike Birbiglia has a jackal problem.