Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It looks good, thanks for asking!

I just got back from getting my hair cut and it was the highlight thus far of my day. Terrifying receptionist aside, it's really a very nice place. They will bring you a drink and then I get my hair washed and my scalp massaged. Then I chat with my stylist about trashy TV while she cuts. I walk out of there feeling cute, get an iced tea from Starbucks (Hey, fuck off, Starbucks iced tea is awesome. It has crack in it.) which I needed because the minute I got back in my car I wanted to crawl into the back seat and take a nap. I didn't sleep last night and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of this day.

Or, maybe I did sleep, but I think it was probably in fifteen minute increments because I felt like I was awake all night and every time I started to doze off I'd jolt awake, my heart racing. Now, before you start pointing your pointy finger at the caffeine, I've pretty much cut out all caffeine from my life aside from the mug of coffee I worship with breakfast but it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. I sleep or I don't sleep. I don't seem to have much control over it.

Sunday night there was a horrific thunder storm in the middle of the night and it did wake me up, but only long enough for me to acknowledge it and fall solidly back asleep, lightening and thunder be dammed. But last night was quiet, my sheets were crisp, the temperature was neither too hot nor too cold and I was AWAKE BECAUSE OMG MY BRAIN WILL NOT TURN OFF.

Do you know the kind of things my brain likes to obsess about in the middle of the night? Not good things. Not boots or kittens or dessert. No, it likes to work through every bad thing I've ever done, every bit of guilt I've ever felt, every slight I've ever caused and MAGNIFY it into OH MY GOD territory.

It's...not restful.

Sorry, were you waiting for my point? I don't have one. Just that I'm tired and kind of grumpy and might have given the mail guy the finger behind his back for no reason. I'm really not a nice person today.

Related, if you aren't listening to This American Life, please at least listen to this one.

Mike Birbiglia has a jackal problem.


  1. They always try to give me a beverage when I get my hair cut but I don't know what to DO with it. Am I supposed to drink it all real quick, or sit there holding it under the cape, or put it on the counter and drink it afterward or what?? It's too stressful.

  2. Not sure if I told you this before or not, but the secret ingredient in the heavenly Sbux iced tea is Earl Grey teabags, just a hint. 4 regular bags + 2 Earl Grey + 2 qts water = a pretty good approximation of Sbux, if you're inclined to make it at home.

  3. Dude, my mind goes to dark places when I can't sleep, too. Last time, my train of thought went like this:

    "If you look to your left, you'll be reminded that you still haven't finished the bottom part of that chair you 'reupholstered' a year ago. Look, you can see the fabric hanging down below it, right next to your bed. But that's just a metaphor for EVERYTHING in your life that you leave unfinished or do half-assed, isn't it? ISN'T IT? How 'bout that kitchen? How about that effing MASTERS? Yeah, you'll do a real good job with that kid of yours, if these things are any indication." And scene.

  4. Molly, I am the same! I'm always worried about getting hair in the drink, too.

    Emily, you are killing me. Since sleep is at a premium with a newborn, I've taken to listening to NPR podcasts on those nights when my mind is racing but I really need sleep. It helps drown out the voices.

  5. Molly, ha! I usually get one sip and then spend the rest of the appointment staring at it, just out of reach.

    Emily, I love your monologue only because it's so exactly IT. I usually end mine with, "...and that's why you're a creepy loser who will never amount to anything." Restful!

  6. Oh, and thanks for the tea recipe, essaywriter! I shall try that.

  7. MaryB eager to see the haircutJuly 29, 2009 at 7:29 PM

    While I'm sorry that your voices kept you awake and made you sad, I am oddly pleased to know that I'm not the only one whose own head does that to them! Sheesh.

    But I hope you get lots of good restful sleep tonight and I also can't wait to see your haircut tomorrow! I'll bet you are, as usual, freaking adorable.

  8. Same way with the salon drink. They have wine but why waste a good glass of wine (good = free) so I just ask for water. Sip some real fast and the rest just sits there on the counter. Plus, once I take off my glasses, I can't find it again anyway.