Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Fanny Pack 4EVA.

Of crafts shows and fanny packs.

It never fails to shock me, really. I mean, what is wrong with a shoulder bag? Or a pocket? Or...anything to hold your stuff that doesn't involve adding bulk around your middle, which, lets face it, is not the body part that most Americans should be emphasizing. Every single craft show we do, I see fanny packs like you wouldn't believe. I can't even understand where they are coming from. Where do you even purchase such a thing? Though, come to think of it, I did forcibly remove one from my mother's suitcase before her last vacation and she's had that puppy since the 80's. She has bags! She has purses and back packs and pockets galore. Why would she want to strap something that ugly around her middle? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, America. Oh, and don't even get me started on the high end fanny pack, Gucci and whatnot. It is what it is, if you pay $5 or $500.

The two worst offenders last Saturday:

- an attractive woman wearing a cute summery sun dress and sandals, all of which was ruined by the giant black lump strapped across her middle.

- an older man wearing shorts, t-shirt, sneakers, a visor and a DISNEY THEMED FANNY PACK. OMG. MY EYES.

Needless to say, it was a shitty show. I don't get it. Our last show we raked it in and we'd done this one before with decent results. I know I was all Up With People about it on the Craft Mafia blog but dude, it stunk. We kind of knew something was up when, early on, I politely invited a browser to try on the necklace she was looking at and she gave me a look (according to Kate) like I'd just told her to lick my ass. Sorry? Just trying to help! Our day was further torturous because a few booths down a guy was selling CDs of himself playing popular tunes on the recorder, which, naturally, he had with him along with a mike and amplifier. I think we heard "How Deep is Your Love" about ten times in the course of the day. I was about to go over and show him how Deep His Recorder Would Fit Down His Throat, but Kate convinced me this might reflect poorly on our business.

In the end, we sold a couple of things and bought a whole lot more than we made because we felt sorry for ourselves and Meg Allen's stuff is so beautiful that we couldn't help ourselves.

So, yeah. We spent many, many hours on Saturday smiling politely and answering questions and not making any money. It's part of the game but it sure does suck when things don't go well. Our next gig is Renegade Brooklyn (as part of the Mafia booth, we ain't actually going which sucks because it looks really frickin cool) and after that a fancy farmer's market in the Northern Neck, so that's sure to go well. Haha. Ha. Uh.

Here's a picture of Kate and I hawking our wares (haw! haw!) at Spring Bada-Bing back in April:

We are pretty cute, no?


  1. Does that mean you'll be at the Renegade Craft Fair in Chicago as well? Because I will totally come. And I will make sure to wear a garish fanny pack, so I can carry off lots of jewelry without compromising the use of my hands.

  2. You are more than pretty cute, you guys are totally cute!

    I don't understand fanny packs either. It makes NO SENSE.

  3. I'm saaaad that you won't be in Brooklyn, but I will stop by and represent for you.