Worst Day Ever.

What did I do? Why am I being punished? This has been a super-cruddy day and it's not even over yet. I feel like I should hide under my desk until it's time to go home.

It started with a trip to the doctor for my yearly Pap Smear Hour-o-Fun lunchtime appointment, in which I read horrible magazines (Dwell is ridiculous, by the way. Ri-dick-u-lus. OMG! I could write a whole entry about it, but I'll save it for later) while sitting on an uncomfortable table dressed in a front-tie muu muu. All this stunk a lot.

But wait! There's more. I was jauntily leaving when I realized I couldn't find my keys. I checked my purse thoroughly but it's a big wodge of keys and hard to miss. Not in my purse. Not in the examination room. Not in the bathroom. Not in the waiting room. Not in the nook where i got my blood pressure checked. I tore that place apart and I think all the nurses kind of hate me now. They seemed to be waiting for me to leave but WHERE CAN I GO? They also kept asking me if I'd checked in my purse. WOW, GRAND IDEA. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

I left my contact information in the office and remembered that I had an emergency plastic key card thingy for my car. Hey! At least I could leave and go home for my spare keys. Oh, ho ho! Planning for emergency will get you nowhere. That plastic key didn't do jack shit. It's a lie, people. If you have one of those in your wallet toss it, because it's a lie.

I had to call my boss to come get me. Can you hear the quaver in my voice? It's there. She asked me if I'd checked my purse and then suggested I got back to the office one more time. I did, and a woman in the waiting room asked if I checked in my purse. I then went across the way to the valet parking station (I didn't use the valet service) to see if anyone had found my keys. They hadn't, but she did ask if I'd checked in my purse. I pretty much want to punch the next person who asks me that. I then called security and they didn't have them.

Finally, I called my boss back and she came to get me, which was so nice of her. While I waited I bawled on the phone to my husband who has to go home and dig up my spares, pick me up at work and go back to get my car.

Honestly, I don't get it. How did I lose them? I really think I put them down somewhere in the doctor's office and some jerk picked them up. That jerk is probably stealing my car right now.

FUCK.