You Have to Make Your Own Fun.

Every morning on my drive into work I go by a house that is festively decorated with two yard-dwelling garden gnomes. Gnomes I'd previously discussed wanting to steal. One of them, who stands on a big rock on the corner of their property, fell over into the grass two months ago.

It drives me crazy. Completely crazy insane.

I thought about, uh, "rescuing" him but again, that's "stealing" and I really don't want to get arrested for stealing a lawn ornament. (If I ever get arrested for anything, it's gonna be more interesting than that, let me tell you.)

Instead, I decided my only choice was to have the gnome send the homeowners a little note requesting he be put right. I mean, who wouldn't want mail from their garden gnome? Long tradition and all. I figured most gnome-owners will have a sense of humor. Either that, or they'll call the police. A chance I'm willing to take.

I decided it would be best to send a postcard but not just ANY postcard, a gnome postcard. Where the hell does one go to find a gnome card? Why, Etsy! Where else? So here's the evidence, just so you don't think I'm making this all up:



Scandalous drive-by shot:



We'll see what happens.