Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Please Be Rude to Me, Part Two.

First, can I just say how touched I am by all the kickass comments? Thanks for getting my back, y'all. I think the one that actually made me LOL was this from Carol:

I think I saw that booth at my local craft fair but it was selling hand painted saw blades. Or maybe airbrushed tee-shirts. I forget.

Mostly because we've actually done shows where painted saw blades were the big thing. I mean, really. I am in the wrong business.

Anyway, the rudeness did not stop that Sunday. On Monday it was followed up by some breathtakingly bad customer service, which I will tell you all about in a minute. First, I have to tell you about the show we did last Saturday. It was a small show that has the #1 benefit of being held the day before Mother's Day. This is awesome because it was all about tired husbands being railroaded into buying things. It was like performance art, watching these tired, overwrought moms get their due.

"LOOK, HONEY. THAT NECKLACE IS NICE. I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE TOO. WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BEST BECAUSE YOU WILL BE BUYING ONE FOR ME."

Ha, we did well. This show is local and held in the neighborhood where I grew up, more or less. You know what that means! Who did I run into?

1. my middle school art/gym teacher
2. my middle school English teacher (she's married to the art/gym teacher)
3. my junior year prom date (he introduced me to his wife that way! Dude. We were only ever just friends. It was a fun prom, unlike the one my senior year.)
4. a very cool woman I used to work with at The Byrd. (We were flapper popcorn girls together.)
5. two different mountain bike posse friends.
6. my friend Noah (of Skull-a-Day fame.)

I think there was more, but that's all I remember. The best part was at the end of the show when another vendor came over and, no lie, told us how much he loved our tablecloths. BOO YA, plate-mirror bitch!

Okay, on to the rudeness! Now, in the town where I live there is a very powerful local chain of grocery stores, a company that prides itself on it's excellent customer service and mostly they do okay. My first job was as a grocery bagger in one of their stores and it wasn't the worst job I've ever had. I pretty much give them all my grocery business because it's a nice clean store and I know where everything is. The cashiers are generally friendly and rarely check the expiration dates on my coupons. That changed a few weeks ago.

So, I do my usual big shopping trip, get in line and pile my stuff up on the checkout thingy. My cashier, Monica, was not terribly friendly, but that's fine, I don't really care as long as she's accurate. Eh, not so much with that either. I'm watching the items on the little screen and I notice that I've been charged $3.87 for cucumbers. The problem is, I didn't actually buy any cucumbers. Here's how the rest of it went down:

Me: Hey, sorry, something rang up as cucumbers, but I didn't buy any.
Monica: ... (says nothing, pages back to see the cucumber listing, then continues to ring up my groceries without actually fixing the problem, as if I won't notice.)
Me: Uh...
Monica: (refuses look at me directly or acknowledge me.)
Me: those apples just rang up as oranges...
Monica: (continues to ignore me, but fixes the code this time.)
Me: ...and I'm still wondering about the cucumbers? I didn't buy any.
Monica: (continues to act as if I haven't spoken.)
Me: ...um...
Monica: (finishes ringing up my stuff.)
Me: Hi, really, can you take off the cucumbers? I didn't buy any.
Monica: *sigh* (addressing the bagger) DID YOU BAG ANY CUCUMBERS?
Me: Hey! I think I'd remember buying four dollars worth of cucumbers.
Bagger: no.
Me: I'm not LYING.
Monica: *sigh* (removes the charge, hands me the receipt, turns her back on me.)
Me: (to the bagger): How are you today?
Bagger: (petulantly) fine.
Me: OKAY GREAT.

I'm still pissed off about this and it's been a week and a half. I didn't actually complain to the manager, though I probably should have, because I don't like being the shrill complainer more than I already am, you know? I think my lesson here is to avoid Monica like the plague.

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