I'm sick. Somewhere (HI KATE'S COWORKER) I picked up a nasty stomach virus and ever since Sunday night my life has been full of sadness. I've spent a lot of time studying the tiles in my bathroom, is all I'm saying. Actually, I don't think it's a virus so much as a small baby demon. Today my stomach has been burbling and growling in a manner that's deeply disturbing. I can practically see the tiny baby demon's clawed paw outline on my stomach as it tries to work it's way out. Clearly my diet of ...almost nothing... has upset him greatly. Here's a rundown of meals I've eaten in the past three days:
- a single cracker
- tiny sad Jell-O cup
- 1/2 cup of broth
- plain rice
Today I went crazy and had a little broth and rice, which baby demon is NOT DOWN WITH. He's gurgling in displeasure as I type. Pipe down, little buddy, seriously, you are freaking me out. My only sad pleasure is weighing myself to see how much I've lost in water weight. Isn't this the sickest guilty pleasure? I'm totally going to enjoy putting all those pounds back on (posthaste!) but for now I can at least feel skinny in a sickly consumptive fashion. Dehydration! It's what's for dinner.
Pooooooooooooor you!
ReplyDeletePoor you. Could it be food poisoning? Seems like a long time to have a virus. But either way - stay away from me. :) Because I love you.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, that is awful!
ReplyDeleteCan you get your hands on some coke syrup? Pharmacies usually have it behind the counter but you don't need a prescription for it.
Pour a little over ice (like 1/4 cup) and slowly sip. SLOWLY.
I swear it is like fucking magic. My great grandfather was a doctor and he always prescribed coke syrup for an upset stomach.
"sickly consumptive fashion" - I like it. VERY Bronte.
ReplyDeleteOh, and feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteA virus should have passed by now, have you called your doctor? I hope you feel better, soon.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you're turning a corner now, with the crackers and all, but I am starting to worry. If you're not feeling markedly better tomorrow, find out why.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've always said I'm just one stomach flu/jaw wiring/kidnapping combo away from my goal weight.
Enjoy the reload.
yikes. I hope the shopping totally cured you. feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteAre you STILL sick? Bless your heart!
ReplyDeleteMiss you!