Friday, June 5, 2009

Medieval Times

I'm lame, sorry. It's just that nothing has happened. Really, no crazy people have assaulted me, I haven't had any craft shows, I've been sleeping like a champ, I got my new toof, my riding lesson was rained out, I GOT NOTHING.

Wait, that's not quite true. As mentioned in my last entry, which apparently only two people read, I did recently inherit an iPhone and it has a camera! (Yes, sadly, my actual cellphone is so low tech that it doesn't even have a shitty camera. I mean, what cellphone these days doesn't have a shitty camera?) But my iPhone does and it's turned me into an asshole. I'll take photos of anything. Because I can! Really, it's just stupid. Here's a sampling of photos I currently have stored in my iPhone (which, I should again mention, I'm not actually using as a phone, so I should just call it something else.) Anyway:

kenny. he didn't want his picture taken. too bad.

dinner! it's what's for dinner.

fuzz. she didn't want her picture taken. too bad.

proof that I was really busy last month.

Wow. That was even more boring than I thought. There was another picture of a really gross and sweaty me posing with the lovely and pet-able horse Ticket, but I just couldn't do it. I look seriously disgusting in that photo and I'm sure you'd all thank me for NOT including it.

So, the weekend approaches. I hope to spend some time tomorrow shirking my duties and then spend some time Sunday making up for it, ie clean the sty. Last night at dinner Kenny spilled a beer (gah! Not the beer!) and when I was helping to wipe it up I accidentally wiped a bit under the edge of the couch and a horrifying clot of dust and cat hair came billowing out. I was so grossed out. How do mere mortals keep up with this stuff?

And when do people find the time to mop? I can (obviously) barely keep the place vacuumed, much less actually clean the floors. Kenny and I were talking last weekend about getting an area rug for the living room but I really think we could save our money by buying a bundle of rushes and strewing them about like in medieval times. Just give up all pretense of clean, you know? Fuck it. Rushes for everyone! Don't worry about scraping your plate, just toss it out there and the rats will do the rest. Hey, if it was good enough for the Middle Ages, it's good enough for us.


  1. Rushes? Peanut shells might be easier to come by, especially where you live.

  2. That dinner looks beautiful--I want some.

  3. Dogs will lick floors. They're not as cool as cats, of course, but ... they do more to earn their keep. Maybe if you got a really tiny dog (note: I ACTUALLY HATE TINY DOGS) you wouldn't have to actually feed it, you know? It could live off the stuff that falls off the table.

    Just a thought.

  4. Mary, I think the cats would kill it. They don't play nice. Or, if not kill it, taunt it about its obvious non-catness. Adrien's got a roomba so she ought to just send that sucker into the dark scary places.

  5. I don't have a Roomba (I borrowed one once), but I hear they make fantastic gifts.

    And yeah, my cats would totally take down a small dog. In seconds.