Monday, July 2, 2007

I Might Need a Vacation.

I've been spending a fair amount of time in and around the back yard lately because the weather has been beautiful and the tomatoes (TOMATOES) are starting to ripen. When I say, "a fair amount of time" I mean 30 seconds at a stretch. Any longer than that and the mosquitoes have time to organize a group plan rather than just randomly attack me.

I took one for the team, however, when I saw this little rabbit out back eating the apples that had fallen from our apple tree. He's so cute and conveniently pocket-sized. I know! Who wouldn't want a pocket rabbit? I didn't scoop him up, though, I just took his picture instead and he didn't seem to mind. Afterwards I looked down at my feet (the only skin I had exposed) and saw giant red mosquito bite welts on both of them. West Nile, here I come. It was worth it though for the cute bunny picture.


I'll be the first to admit that I'm fonder of the cute critters than the non-cute ones. I like squirrels better than birds. YOU HEARD ME. Squirrels trump birds! Totally cuter. There's one bird in particular who's not doing anything to change my mind about this. It's built a nest in the tree in our yard and spends every waking hour bitching us out and dive-bombing the cats. I did a little Internet research and I'm completely scientifically convinced that it's a Tufted Titmouse. Tufted Jerkmouse, more like. Man, that bird does not quit. I get home from work or take out the trash or go to pick a tomato, and she's waiting for me, tweeting and tut-tuting and warning me away from a nest that's 20 feet off the ground. I don't want your eggs, dingbat!

I'd finally had enough Tufted verbal abuse the other day and Kenny came outside to find me jumping up and down shaking my fist at her and yelling,

"I should punch you right in the beak! Right in the ole' tweeter! RIGHT IN YOUR SEED HOLE, BIRD!"

This earned me another "God, I can't believe I married her" look but really, that bird is an asshole and somebody had to say it.


  1. We your readers appreciate your risking getting the West Nile so you could show us a picture of a cute bunny. But I must respectfully disagree on squirrels vs. birds. Birds don't dig in your flowerpots. Birds don't rip the heads off your tulips. Birds don't pick your ripe tomatoes off the vine, take a bite, and then throw them aside, laughing madly all the while. Fugging squirrels...

  2. Cute've been tagged. See my blog.

  3. hahahaha I love you. the end.

  4. "Tufted Jerkmouse" and "Seed Hole"?!? F'ing genius!