I have about an hour and a half of work time left before I'm set free for eleven days. This is so fantastic I can hardly wrap my brain around it. The week has not been without the annual Family Drama Email Parade, complete with a solid page's worth of guilt-text from my mother. Lord above. I'm hoping we can all just get tipsy and let the shit goooo. That's my plan, anyway. That, or just running away and changing my name.
Otherwise, things are fine. I still have a pile of gifts to wrap (ugh) and the tree is still sans decorations (oops.) It'll all get done eventually. Or not. I've been busy this week with other things, things like trying to find something on TV worth watching. It's been a horrible TV week and my lack of DVR (Hi, honey!) means that I have to watch an infuriating amount of diamond commercials. I think diamond jewelry commercials are sincerely my most hated ever. I had a little chat about it with a friend who was nice enough to buy earrings from me in an attempt to gift someone with "non-Zales" jewelry. Here is the rest of the exchange:
me: I hate those diamond commercials like poison. I was actually thinking of writing a blog entry about how much I hate them.
Friend: Seriously, I fucking hate them too. They make me want to stab someone violently.
me: YES. I hate the one with the wishbone and the shrill little girl, "WHATS THAT, MOMMY?"
me: THAT'S A GUN, KID.
Friend: Exactly! "Oh, I think I already won!" BARF!
me: GGGGGGGGGAHWskfhwq;oWEHATES
I think more than I hate the commercials, I hate what they imply: gifts = love and if you really, really love the person, diamonds = TRUE LOVE. It's impressively awful and the diamond jewelry that's being pushed is mostly very hideous. And the commercials make me want to die inside. In my world, every kiss begins with SUCK IT.
You want to show her you really care? Buy her a pony. Works every time, I promise.
That beautiful post brought a tear to my eye. Thanks! I needed a good full belly laugh badly. I'm pretty sure you'er gonna get more than a kiss if you start off with sucking though, not sayin, just sayin...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I cannot begin to express my jealousy. Are those 11 days all paid holiday days off (well and normal weekend days of course)? Or did you have to take some personal vacation time? Still, no matter, I am so jealous. Congrats and savor that time a little extra for me!
Oh I hate those commercials too - but at least they quit showing the one where the woman throws her new jewelry in hubby's martini because it didn't come from THE RIGHT STORE. (I think it was for Jared.) That one used to send me into conniptions every time I saw it.
ReplyDeleteE, I do get a week of paid leave between Christmas and New Year's. It's the best perk ever.
ReplyDeleteKathy, that Jared commercial used to make me levitate off the couch with the power of my hate.
Mmmm...I miss working my university job with all the paid time off.
ReplyDeleteThe only holiday commercials I hate more than the jewelry ones are the ones where they tell you to give someone a car for Christmas. I think if you're one of those people who's able to give someone a car with a big bow on itfor Christmas, I automatically hate you. Sorry.
I'm done, too, btw. I plan on having a very happy holiday. I'll have plenty of beer on hand so that you can as well. If someone bought me diamonds, I'd sell them so fast the world would spin. Imagine what you could DO with the money wasted on diamond earrings! But, the ones I hate more are the Fur Bitches commercials (Alan Furs) where prostitutes parade around in long nasty fur coats and pout their hideous shiny lips
ReplyDeleteI scream with rage because now those commercials are playing on the radio too.
ReplyDeleteYou can't fucking escape them!
Ridiculous commercials aside, the jewelry is indeed hideous. Looks like the big thing for this year is a "journey" pendant, which I think resembles diamond sperm.
ReplyDeleteI have to say. That Verizon commercial that compares phones to getting a pony for Christmas? Makes me SO angry. and I know you must have feelings on this too. I need to hear them.
ReplyDelete