...and I am an anthropomorphic girl.
Okay! Before I post the following exchange there are two things you need to know. 1) everything in our house has a voice and, 2) I have a problem with small appliances who don't pull their weight. I only have eight feet of counter space, so if you're not toasting or brewing at the highest possible level, you're out.
Keeping that in mind, please enjoy this exchange which took place this morning during breakfast preparations (which were behind schedule, I might add):
Kenny (surveying the slightly burnt toaster waffles): Uh oh. Watch out, toaster, your days might be numbered.
Me: Don't blame the toaster for that. It's because we both over-slept and I didn't keep an eye on them.
Kenny (to the toaster): I'm sorry, Toaster. Hey...where'd you get that dent? There's a dent in the toaster! Did you hit it?
Me: No! I didn't hit the toaster. Sheesh.
Kenny (to the toaster): Did she hit you?
Me: I DIDN'T.
The Toaster: yes! that lady hit me!
Kenny: Why did you hit the toaster?
Me: I DIDN'T. Are you really going to believe the word of a Target toaster over your own WIFE?
The Toaster: ow...
Kenny: But, the toaster said you hit it!
Me: I DID NOT. This is TOTALLY GOING IN THE BLOG, YOU KNOW.
Kenny: Well, if that's what it takes to clear your conscience...