Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Enjoy Yourself. It's Later Than You Think.

Wow, back at work after three days of gutastic fun. My stomach still feels like it has a small alien living within (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT) because the reintroduction of food has made it very vocal and blurbly. It's embarrassing how loud my gastric business is, right now. It's good times. Food makes it sort of unhappy and the lack of food also has the same effect. What can a girl do.

I feel like I've sort of worn out my welcome on this "I'm sick" thing and while wildly combing my brain for a story to tell I remembered something that happened at the upscale farmer's market where we sell jewelry in the warmer months. We vended in September and it was not terribly profitable, but there was an incident that still makes me laugh. It also makes my ovaries more uncertain than they already are. (There seems to be a running theme here: INDECISION 2007- ADRIEN'S INNERDS. VOTE NOW.)

Anyway, the story:

At the farmer's market was a politician giving away balloons and such. A woman who was vending a few booths down from us had a passel of kids and they all had balloons, which seemed to make them happy. Well, almost all of them. Her little boy (maybe two or three years old?) really wanted to let his balloon go, even though his mother told him he wouldn't get it back. He let it go anyway, delightedly watched it fly off, and then burst into incredibly loud, drooling, square-mouthed shrieks of anger when he realized he couldn't get it back.

To stop the shrieking, his mother handed him another balloon. He released, he was gleeful, he was utterly furious, all within a two-second span. Another balloon was handed over, lather, rinse repeat. At this point we're all quietly cracking up. It's funny! Yet kind of annoying!

His mother starts to get irritated (perhaps with us for laughing) and finally ties the balloon to his belt loop. This sends the little boy into a rage like I've never seen. HOW CAN HE LET THE BALLOON GO WHEN IT'S ATTACHED TO HIS PANTS. NO NO NO. His solution, which reduced me and the rest of the vendors to convulsions, was to remove his pants and try to set the whole shebang free. Picture if you will: an angry, crying, towheaded, pantsless little boy trying to set free a balloon that is being dragged down by his pants. He was FURIOUS, marching along the row dragging his pants balloon behind him.

Finally, his mother caught up with him and untied the balloon, handed it to him with a warning. And looked on with blank despair as he gleefully let it go.

You gotta give that kids marks for consistency, I guess.


  1. You have just described what life's like with Juliette.

  2. Thanks for the post-a-day! It's a great diversion to my workday. -Lisa

  3. Well, that is certainly better than crazy things coming out the nose and other orifices I suppose. You got some crazy hardcore flu thing or something eh? That ain't your run-of-the-mill food poisoning or upset tummy. You try smoothies? Like the real kind, not what Jamba Juice passes off as smoothies. Smoothie King does a pretty good one, as do Whole Foods and some other "healthy" places. Frozen bananas and apple juice blended into a thick paste, a very non-acidic, easy-to-ingest and hold down, filling base. Add berries and such as your tummy is able. I just make 'em at home myself, but they work great for getting some nutrition and filler in when the stomach can't really handle anything else.

    That kid is so awesome. Reminds me of myself quite a bit really. The pants. Oh the pants. GENIUS! Glad you are up and running enough to come up with silliness to entertain us with. Now where the hell is my potty pic? AND tampon dispenser please. ;-p

  4. I don't know how to say this without being gross, so I guess I'll just say it: when you puke rillyrilly hard, puke done come out your nose too.

    I'm pretty much better and eating solid food, but I'll definitely keep the smoothie thing in mind. That sounds pretty good anyway.

    Pictures today! I swear!

  5. Love this story. Probably good that I have no children.

  6. Remind me to tell you about the time pizza came out my nose (or not).
    And congrats on keeping up the daily posting despite being sick, that's hardcore!