We did the Handmade Parade put on my the Norfolk Craft Mafia and it was a really good show. The venue was issue-prone but more than made up for it with charm and weirdness. I love me some weirdness. The main thing I give those Mafia folks credit for is the CROWD. There were so many people! Many of them actually bought things! It was quite nice, except for one customer who was so uncertain, so waffling, so in need of affirmation that we almost clubbed her over the head with a necklace bust. I mean, lady, it's a necklace! Buy it or don't! After dithering for, no shit, nearly an hour, she finally bought a necklace. Half an hour later she brought it back to be adjusted for length. Sheesh! Can you imagine being her hairdresser? (She actually mentioned hating her haircut and when we said it was cute she said, "Really?" with a look like she thought we were crazy.)
My other favorite was woman who looked everything over and then sneered, "I don't see any prices listed." Um, they're on the...price...tags?" Lord. My best overheard exchange was the woman incensed by a button another vendor was selling that said, "Jesus Wasn't a White Man". She was dressing down that vendor in all seriousness about how HE WAS TOO WHITE. Apparently middle eastern folks are Caucasian and therefore "white". Whatever you say, crazy. See also: GET A SENSE OF IRONY.
The show was held at a Masonic Temple which was awesome in it's weirdness and 1950s-trapped-in-amber. Especially in the bathroom. The woman's room had this awesome feature (this pic courtesy of Tasha, because mine sucked):
5¢!! I love it. Another interesting feature in the women's room was that the first two stalls contained urinals (I think):
Surprise! Not a toilet! Methinks the Masons weren't always so eager to allow the ladies in.
Definitely a men's club when you have to be so specific:
Oooh, showcase of top-secret Masonic gear:
The show was in two different rooms, the prison-like dining room (where we were) and the auditorium (aka scary sacrifice ritual room). The lighting in both was pretty bad, as you can see in this picture:
Ugh to the tiny prison windows and fluorescent dimness. Still, other than making our stuff less shiny and making us all look like we had cholera, it didn't matter. The show was fun and we made some sweet moola.
Actually, the urinal? I think that's what's known as a *female* urinal. They have them in a lot of parks and campgrounds; hope you have good quads!
ReplyDeleteI went to a hotel a couple of weeks ago and they had those "female urinals." Very weird, yes? We need more of those "Kotex" machines but perhaps more of this century with tampons because I inevitably need one when I have none and I'm out to dinner or something.
ReplyDeleteI have never even heard of a female urinal! Most fascinating! I do think you are right that there was some deep-rooted misogyny there that caused them to go with that option though. My wife actually has dispensers for similar products at he work and sometimes avails herself to them and is most happy to have the option. I must say, I doubt they have as classy of a classic "hospital" look though. Were those still operable do you know?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't deal with those kind of freakzoid weirdos that you guys endure as artisans plying your wares. I seriously would have been like, "Lady, you CAN'T buy this necklace any more, sorry, it is now officially off-limits to you" after like 5 minutes of the waffle. I would have actually called the blind woman out out loud too. I am one intolerant bastard tabeshar. So I'll go back to hiding in my room and reading about your antics! Keep 'em coming. You should have brought the skull pens and made them shoplift or something! ;-p
Skull pen antics! I love that idea. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteAnd OMG about the female urinal! WHO KNEW. That is insanity.
sounds like it was sweet! I'm such a punk for not going...
ReplyDeleteYES YOU ARE.
ReplyDeleteThe female urinal is called the Sanistand and was mostly made in the 50's and 60's
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